Soar like the wild turkey you are

"It's hard to soar with eagles..."

I read my dad's new tee shirt from across the room. Duh, my seventh grade mind responded. We don't have wings.

I didn't think it was funny. Odd maybe. But not laugh worthy.

But he found it hilarious. As soon as he had unwrapped the birthday present from my mom he threw his head back and belly laughed. An inside joke perhaps?

When he noticed my confusion his eyes twinkled. He stood up, pulled the shirt over his head and walked toward me. I could make out an image of a bird. But it wasn't an eagle. Underneath it were smaller letters: "...when you work with a bunch of turkeys."

That's one way to insult your coworkers. "Turkeys are a brick shy of a load," he said. "They stare up into the sky when it's raining and could drown." I believed him.

Turns out, some turkeys do stare into the sky for 30 seconds or so. But no turkeys have drowned from the odd behavior (at least that's what the Washington Post says). Sky staring isn't deadly. It's just a genetic variation.

Know what else is a genetic variation? Color. Size. Leg length. And the ability to soar.

Domesticated turkeys are short, fat, practically flightless birds that stand around and cluck all day. Like the guys my dad worked with.

But wild turkeys actually do fly. Charles Ruth, Deer and Turkey Project supervisor for the S.C. Department of Natural Resources (DNR) said that a turkey:

...can fly distances of more than a mile, sometimes at speeds of 55 miles per hour.

It's not exactly warp speed, but it's a lot faster than eagles. Eagles can only reach 30 miles per hour (mph) when flapping their wings. Not only that, but wild turkeys can run almost as fast as eagles can fly — up to 25 mph. That's faster than a galloping horse or charging elephant.

Of course, eagles can fly faster when diving — up to 100 mph. But, hey, I could free fall faster than that! Say I jumped out of an airplane (which I don't ever plan on doing). I'd have a choice. I could spread out my arms and legs for a speed of 120 to 125 mph before pulling the cord to open my parachute. Or, I could opt for the "dive bomb" method to reach "I'm gonna die" speeds of 200+ mph. The record free fall skydiving speed is 321 mph — obviously not for novices.*

Benjamin Franklin didn't list flight speed as a reason why a turkey was a more fitting symbol for the United States than a bald eagle. He didn't actually propose a turkey - but he did question the idea in a letter to his daughter, saying that a turkey was more courageous than an eagle.

Wild turkeys are fast. They're brave. And they are loyal. Author Candice Gaukel Andrews writes: "Turkeys form lasting, strong social bonds with their families and flock mates."

So why do turkeys have such a bad reputation? They are no longer wild. They've been hybridized, urbanized, and capitalized. Bred to be flightless and relatively docile.

In talking about why living wild is the key to happiness, adventurer and Left for Dead star Ed Stafford notes that "there is definitely something in capitalism and in urbanization that detracts from that interhuman interaction."

You do have a choice. You can be docile, domesticated, and obedient. Or, you can be a wild turkey and soar. Ready to fly? Here's how:

1. Be adaptable. Wild turkeys thrive around the globe.

2. Broaden your vocabulary. Wild turkeys do more than gobble. They cluck, yelp, purr. and cackle. Listen here.

3. Defend what matters to you. Turkeys do so fearlessly. One even attacked a truck. But before you go into fight mode be sure you know what is important and why. If you don't, take some time for introspection.

4. Spend time in the wilderness. Wild turkeys live in forests, woodlands and, well, other wild places. Your wilderness might be different from the majority of people in your life. You might like sailing out to where the sea meets the horizon. Or pitching your tent in a cactus forest. Or sitting on a bench in a city park. Go outside to a place that helps you connect with the visceral part of you. While you're out there, walk barefoot if you can.

5. Keep your social circle manageable. Turkeys like to hang out in flocks of 5 to 50 birds. Research shows that humans can only have 5 closest friends, although overall we can manage up to a hundred or so in our social sphere.

6. Trust God. I know. You weren't expecting that one. But here's the deal. Most of use have lived in captivity a long time. We've forgotten how to fly — in a spiritual sense. Many of us think it's impossible. But I believe the promise found in Isaiah 40:31:

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

He made you. He knows what kind of wings you have. You might not have eagle wings. The verse doesn't say you do. It just says you'll soar like eagles.

So look up into the sky, spread your wings, and soar like a wild turkey.

Photo by Andy Reago & Chrissy McClarren - Wild Turkey, CC BY 2.0.

* Thanks, Jian Huang, for the physics lesson.